Sunday, November 30, 2014

Home School Just For Fun

Were you home schooled? I bet most of you would say you weren’t but after you read this list you might say well yes maybe I was …

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me religion.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My father taught me about time travel.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you to next week!”

My father taught me logic.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me foresight.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My father taught me irony.
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about contortionism.
“Just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about stamina.
“You’re going to sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

My mother taught me about weather.
“This room of yours looks as if it was hit by a tornado.”

My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. Don’t exaggerate!”

My father taught me the circle of life.
“I brought you into this world and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about behavior modification.
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about envy.
“There are millions of less fortunate children who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me about receiving.
“You’re really going to get it when we get home!”

My mother taught me medical science.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way.”

My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on. I can tell when you are cold!”

My mother taught me how to become an adult.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

My mother taught me genetics.
“You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me about my roots.
“Shut that door behind you. Were you were born in a barn?”

My mother taught me wisdom.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

My father taught me about justice.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

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