Monday, May 25, 2015

A Woman Called T

Elisabeth "T" on left, Pati and friend..... La chaim!

Dedicated to the memory of Elisabeth Dragat Hathaway
Born April, 23, 1962
Died May 22, 2015
Aged 53 years
May she rest in peace.


She was called "T". When she was little one of her siblings couldn't pronounce Elisabeth. It came out T and it stuck as her permanent nickname. I didn't know T very well but what I knew of her was fine. She was a fine lady. Kind. Beautiful smile. When she smiled her whole face smiled. I wish I had a picture of her. She was blonde and blue eyed about medium height and a little zaftig. So that gives you something with which to use your imagination. But the physical of a person is really so little of a person. It's just that we need the physical. We are rooted in physical. How could we not be?

Some people say we are perfect non-physical beings. But are we? Who knows.

I'm going to leave the eulogizing to persons who knew her best. She was a really good friend of my best friend Pati. She lived in Petaluma. She was a family counselor. She was more than that. We are all more than where we live and what we do, n'est ce-pas?

T got a very bad version of cancer a few months ago. It was the kind that comes with a death sentence. She fought bravely and without big narcotics. She and her doctors did everything in their power to keep her alive and with us. They were only buying time but it was worth it. It's always worth it to wake up and see the sky and smell the air and ponder infinity and the mysteries of life. A wise man once said life is precious, a gift, a diamond. Most people are selling the diamond for the price of spinach.

 T didn't have a belief in the afterlife. She didn't believe in heaven. She didn't believe in hell. And she was terrified at the end. I think a lot of us pretend we can handle it but T, being who she was, just didn't fake it. I admire her for that. That level of personal honesty is rare. T was real until the end.

T would want we who are left behind to savor our lives and never, ever take it for granted. A beautiful elegant woman, she.

Thank you, T, for being who you are. I am so honored that I made your acquaintance.


  1. I am sorry for your loss. My sincere condolences.

    1. Thank you Jules. I sincerely appreciate your thoughts.