Sunday, July 12, 2015

Just Getting Started

 I don't know where my sister got this blurb but she recently sent it to me and said "This is YOU!"

I don't do small talk very well. I want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears, what you want out of life, what makes you happy. I like people of substance, who speak with emotion from the depth of their minds.
I want to know more than "what's up."

First I thanked her and said Yes, This is Me and then I said And This is You, too! There's something about getting long in the tooth that has made my sister and I come to grips with the fact that we see eye to eye on a number of things. Least of which is we both survived abusive relationships. Her's was physically violent and mine was emotionally abusive but the result was the same. We now share a survival story and we're here to testify!

So when I'm in a conversation that consists mostly of small talk there'll be a point when you'll notice that I steer the conversation in a different direction. (If any of you, my friends, are reading this now you know what I'm up to.  The cat is out of the bag. There.  I said it.)  I'll take a comment made and expound on it in some way that isn't of the mundane. Maybe I'll ask a question. Honestly, everything you can think of has a metaphysical aspect to it, don't you think?

Even peanut butter sandwiches. Well, maybe not peanut butter sandwiches.

Just this morning as I was driving to see if I could make it to the Sunday meeting of the Paskenta Flournoy Bible Church* (I was too late. They don't have a phone and there was no starting time published anywhere. This is the sticks, folks. So I just went and crossed my fingers. Half hour too late). I noticed that the hills looked just like solidified ocean waves. That got me started on what is the nature of matter and why does there seem to be so much repetition of form in this world? I thought "I really need to study Particle Physics or Quantum Theory or something." This world fascinates me.

The physical world, language and human nature. The big three for me.

I really hope there is reincarnation. I'm just getting started on all the things that I'd like to know more about.

* Don't make the mistake of thinking "Eegads! Renee's going fundamental."  Leave me explain: I enjoy the fellowship of people and I find that a lot of Christians are really very, very nice. It's as simple as that. Plus I like thinking about the mythology of Christianity and figuring out what's positive about it and how it can help me remember who I am. One area of study among many.


  1. And it isn't just you... I can very much relate to the statement as well.
    I have done my time with christianity. Been force fed it for a good deal of my younger years and I saw it for what it really was.... or seemed to me.

    There's a forth I'd like to add to your big 3; the world we do not see or are able to explain.

    And I for one am absolutely convinced there is reincarnation.

    1. yes, definitely, that is my number 4 and not in order of importance. They're all number 1!

      I hope you're right. I don't even care if I get to remember if I lived before or not. I know I'd begin where I left off.

  2. From PaulDuJour via email

    Once you have waded out
    Into the deep
    And find that your feet
    Always reach the bottom
    Then you lose your taste
    For wading in the shallows
    And always feel the undertow
    Of a deeper conversation
    Which will leave you

  3. Love the email comment! I like sitting with folks and being able to get into those deep conversations. I'm not very good at short, small talk. It makes me uncomfortable. But the sitting and visiting, with no time restrictions, and no limits to the conversation...yes!!

  4. I thought it was good. No. I think it is good.

    Personally? I think the art of conversation is in short supply these days. In the olden days where there wasn't so much media I think people had better conversations. I had a friend from France once say "I think it is so strange that you Americans think that going to a movie together to sit in silence constitutes a good time. In France we have dinner and talk politics into the wee hours of the morning. That's what we think is a good time." Of course, their food and WINE is better. I s'pose that helps.

  5. I went to Europe in 2000 with a very good friend. It amazed me how late folks there started dinner (supper). And how long they lingered. There was no rushing folks out so they could seat the next. Eating took HOURS. Folks drank, ate, visited, had a wonderful time. It was lovely. Now, here, it's all rush rush rush. I like the slow. I like the linger.

    1. I wonder what part of Europe that was.
      There are many very different nations and cultures you know. No one Europe.

    2. I only have experienced France, England and Spain.

      Do you guys want to hear a really bad joke?

      What is the difference between heaven and hell?

      In heaven the french feed you, the italians dress you, the english greet you and the germans run things.

      In hell the french greet you, the english feed you, the germans dress you and italians run things.

      Yeah it's pretty preposterous and over generalized but I still think it's funny.

      Are there some people in Europe who think going to a movie and not interacting much is considered entertainment?